"Only a Penny" Wrote it last night! Whatcha think?

[4score]

Sorry....I posted this a couple days ago but the link keeps crashing. I apoligize for the length....give it a look!
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INT. POKER TABLE - DAY
Johnny Brown and his two close buddies are sitting around a card table playing poker. They are drinking sodas and snacking on chips and dip.
Both of Johnny's friends lay down their hand. Johnny grins and lays down his winning hand.

JOHNNY
Four aces boys. Read 'em and weep!

FRIEND 1
Awww man!

FRIEND 2
What the **** ?

Johnny grabs the poker chips from the middle of the table, stacks them, and neatly organizes them in a row with the rest of is chips.

FRIEND 1
Dude, why do you always have to be so **** neat and organized? I mean, you've got your new shoes, you're new car that you wash like once a day, and now your neat little towers of poker chips.

JOHNNY
You're crazy. No I don't.
Friend 2 reaches into the bottom of the chip bag realizing they had just run out.
He stands up and holds his hands over the table.

FRIEND 2
That's it! Hold the game. We're out of chips. Someone needs to make a chip run.
Johnny stands up and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a penny.

JOHNNY
Okay, how about we flip for it?

FRIEND 2
Alright.

Johnny flips the coin into the air and friend 2 reaches out and snags the coin in mid air.

JOHNNY
Heads!

Friend 2 catches the coin and flips it on to the back of his other hand. It lands on tails.

JOHNNY
**** !

Friend 2 winks and puts the penny in his pocket.

EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE PARKING LOT - DAY
Johnny Brown whips his fancy convertible Mazda Miata into the furthest parking place from the market to avoid any door dings. He peels the sunglasses from his face and hops out of the car, not bothering to put the canvas top up.
He hops on to the sidewalk. He walks with a confident bounce to his stride as his whirls his keys around his index finger.
As he is walking toward the store, a shinny PENNY on the pavement catches his eye. He stops a moment, then bends down and picks it up.
At the entrance to the store are two fat kids. They are flicking a rock against the wall and trying to make it land in squares labeled with numbers. Johnny stops and take out the penny.

JOHNNY
Hey, don't you guys know Squares is supposed to be played with a penny?
He flicks the penny to one of the kids who snatches it in mid air.

FAT KID
Hey thanks!

Johnny enters the market.

CUT TO:
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - MOMENTS LATER

Johnny disappears around the corner and returns with a bag of chips. He waits a moment in line before it's his turn at the register. He places his two items on the counter and reaches into his pocket to retrieve his wallet.

CLERK
Okay....that will be one dollar and thirteen cents.

She looks up at Johnny.

JOHNNY
Alrighty.

Johnny opens his wallet and in lies two single dollar bills. One of the bills is a wrinkled, beaten up bill that looks like it's been around forever. The other bill is in mint condition without a single blemish in it.
Johnny grabs the wrinkled bill out from his wallet and places it on the counter, then reaches in his pocket to find change. After a moment of shuffling he pulls a dime and two pennies out and placed them on the counter.
He continues to check the rest of his pockets. He even turns them inside out. Empty.
He grabs his wallet again and looks inside. He pulls out the crisp, flawless one dollar bill and places it in the palm of his hand. He looks torn at the thought of breaking it.
He glances around the floor and a glint catches his eye near the doorway. He strides quickly toward it. He stops dead in his tracks as a little boy jumps in front of him and swipes the penny form the ground.

LITTLE BOY
Alright! It's heads up!

The little boy flips the coin in the air, catches it, and places it into his pocket.
Johnny walks back over to the counter and notices the annoyed look on the clerks face. He once again holds the dollar bill in his hand as he runs his fingers over its clean and sharp edges.

CAMERA PULLS FOCUS TO A PENNY TRAY ON THE COUNTER.

His eyes squint as he examines the small penny tray. Next to it lies a very similar tray labeled TIPS. The two trays are side by side and balancing in between them on lip of both trays is a lone penny.
Johnny slowly reaches for the penny, but then looks up, notices her scowl, and pulls back.
Finally after noticing the impatient line which has built up behind him, Johnny reluctantly hands over the bill.
He takes his chips, and, looking defeated, walks slowly out the door.
The two kids that were playing the game are now finished.

THE FAT KID
Hey thanks a lot, we have to take off now.
The fat kid flips the penny into the air, landing it in Johnny's palm.
Johnny slowly opens his palm, revealing the shinny penny. He shakes his head and laughs to himself.

FADE OUT.

<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ January 26, 2003 01:49 PM: Message edited by: 4score ]</font>

[Mike Buckles]

Hey, I like it...to me, writing the script is the toughest part...I like the premise, it tells a nice story in not a lot of time....maybe you could film the penny flip in slo-mo, with some swooshing sound effects..that would be cool! Mikeyb

[4score]

Thanks MikeyB!

Glad you liked it. I thought that by posting it on the forum, it would get ripped to shreds, so it means a lot that you liked it! I like your ideas with slow motion. Now.....to the camera! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

ChrisA

[pirate21]

I like it too. I like the approach of taking a simple idea....like not wanting to bust a crisp one-dollar bill. I also like the previous suggestion to slo-mo the coins flipping. I think that can be the common thread throughout the piece. The card game flip, the flip to the kid, the flip back from the kid.

You have good ideas. Keep em coming. Any more script ideas?

Pirate21

[Alex]

hmmm. I almost thought it would be the opposite.

He would gladly spend the new dollar bill but not want to shed the old dollar bill. (meaning it's been in his wallet a long time because of some hidden meaning, or we would probably assume as much)

Another twist, how about the infamous two dollar bill as the bill he doesn't want to break. I haven't seen one of those in ages, and the mystique surrounding it would be obvious.

[4score]

Thanks for the replies.

I think the 2 dollar bill would be cool....but it would be a stretch. I've only seen like one in my life. I'll definately have the pennies flips in slow motions with some nice swooshing sounds! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

btw....whats plus-x film? I only have a sony mini-dv....so for now, it will have to do :>

[Alex]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="verdana, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="verdana, sans-serif">Originally posted by 4score:
Thanks for the replies.

I think the 2 dollar bill would be cool....but it would be a stretch. I've only seen like one in my life. [img]biggrin.gif[/img] </font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

I suddenly feel old.


<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="verdana, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="verdana, sans-serif">Originally posted by 4score:

btw....whats plus-x film? I only have a sony mini-dv....so for now, it will have to do :></font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

Make that REALLY old.

[img]graemlins/wilted.gif[/img]

[4score]

Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel that old! No, but really, what is plus-x?

[cameraguy]

I really like the script. Even though its short its should be a challenge making the camera film what you see it your head. It could be made 25 different ways by 25 different filmmakers [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

As I read I saw a final project in my head shot in plus-x b&w film. Probably just me though [img]cool.gif[/img]

[cameraguy]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="verdana, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="verdana, sans-serif">Originally posted by 4score:
Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel that old! No, but really, what is plus-x?</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

It is black & white film. It is available in Super 8 which is a movie film format and this board is generally for Super 8 discussion. Shooting a short in DV is fine but it then all goes back to the video look vs the film look. Mostly the people here are here because of the preference for using real film.